This morning there was a man dressed as Mario (and Luigi, I guess?) being chased around my apartment complex by a man dressed as a goomba. They were being filmed by a USC student (Mr. Crack) or something.
I really didn’t want them to see me take a picture of their production, so I sheepishly snapped the shot seen above.
My boyfriend on the other hand wanted to get a good picture. He said, “I don’t care, I’m going to take a picture of this!” So when he opened the front door I screamed, “LOOK AT ME, I’M TAKING A PICTURE!” He quickly closed the door sans photo.
It’s like, I really, really wanted a good picture of this thing, but I wanted to mess with my boyfriend even more. And that, my friends, is the true meaning of sacrifice.
Also, fuck off you wanna talk shit about my apartment. I live on the east side of L.A. fuck you (sorry to take it out on you, Tumblr when it was a shithead on Twitter who said something. It’s not you. xo).
Carefully follow these simple steps and you too can fight off those pesky food cravings and LOSE THAT WEIGHT, GURL.
Step 1) Wake up
Step 2) Get out of bed
Step 2) Don’t eat breakfest
Step 3) Go to a coffee shop BY YOURSELF.
Step 4) Order a large iced coffee (they say cold water burns more calories, I assume the same logic applies to coffee).
Step 5) Open up your computer and start working on something…anything. It has to be actual work (or something PRODUCTIVE) and not just browsing TMZ. If you don’t do work, you’ll get bored and you’ll leave the coffee shop. Do something you can get lost in.
That’s all you have you have to do. You might be asking, “Nicole, how is this a diet?”
Well, first off, you can’t leave your computer to do anything. That means you can’t get up to get something to eat or drink. SOMEONE WILL STEAL YOUR STUFF DON’T DO IT. If you pack up your belongings to get food SOMEONE WILL STEAL YOUR AMAZING TABLE DON’T DO IT.
I got up to quickly pee without packing up my computer today and I wouldn’t recommend it. I thought about my computer being stolen the entire time. It was a very unsatisfying piss.
Anyway, before you know it, hours have passed and you haven’t eaten anything!